Jada Pinkett Smith has been in the public eye for more than 30 years. Since landing the role of Lena James on “A Different World” in 1991, she has had a steady presence on television and movie screens.
The wife of actor Will Smith, Pinkett Smith is the host of the Emmy award-winning talk show “Red Table Talk,” and in 2021 was named one of the most influential people in the world by Time magazine.
Now, she is telling her professional and personal story in a new memoir.
In “Worthy,” released earlier this fall, Pinkett Smith writes about the consequences of losing oneself to fame. The New York Times bestseller opens with Pinkett Smith describing a moment of mental-health crisis that led to her considering taking her own life.
Pinkett Smith was candid Sunday night at the Jewish Community Center of San Francisco in discussing her family, career, upbringing and how using the plant-based psychedelic ayahuasca was instrumental in working through self-loathing.
“I haven’t had a suicidal thought since,” she said.
The book-tour event started with a revision. Sheryl Sandberg, originally slated to lead the conversation with Pinkett Smith, had to go to New York for a last minute opportunity to address the United Nations. Bianca Gates, CEO and co-founder of Birdies footwear, filled in.
The three women are all part of a “lean-in circle,” a small group that meets monthly for peer-to-peer mentorship, so there was no lack of familiarity due to the last-minute change.
Pinkett Smith said “Unlovable” was the working title for her memoir before it was changed to “Worthy.”
“So many of us struggle with feeling loved, with self-love,” Pinkett Smith said. “While writing, I kept talking about feeling worthy. Self-worth is being able to see my value through loving myself.”
She told the audience that her writing process was prompted by a “self-inventory” to fully realize the level of self-hatred that was tormenting her. Through this inventory, Pinkett Smith said, she revisited her upbringing in Baltimore.
Her mother suffered from heroin addiction, she said, and her biological father told her at 7 years old that he could not be her father, which was only a confirmation of his ongoing absence in her life. She talked about how, as a teen, she sold crack cocaine.
While attending Baltimore School of the Arts she met a young Tupac Shakur.
“He was such a magnetic, dynamic energy,” she said. When they met, it was “as if we knew each other already. He was very loyal and protective. He took the place of a big brother for me.”
Shakur called her “Square,” she said, teasing her for what was, in his view, her rule-following nature. He also connected Pinkett Smith with the Hughes Brothers as they were developing the film “Menace II Society.” Pinkett Smith described that era as “the golden age of Black Hollywood.”
“We all supported each other — me, Nia Long, Halle Berry,” she said.
A success for one of them was a success for all of them.
“When we talk about female empowerment, we should talk about how to cultivate sisterhood,” she said.
Pinkett Smith said there was a healthy competition between her and her colleagues rooted in the ability to “find love in disagreement” that was equal to the bonds they shared.
About half of the evening’s conversation was dedicated to her marriage. Speculation about her union with Will Smith has fueled the tabloids for decades. Even so, Pinkett Smith was able to address her relationship as if the audience were hearing of him for the first time.
“Will is very charismatic and incredibly intelligent,” Pinkett Smith said. When they met, she said, his curiosity matched hers in a way she’d never experienced.
“He could meet me everywhere,” she said. “If I mentioned ‘The Tao of Physics,’ he knew it too.”
One of the revelations in “Worthy” that has puzzled her fans is the admission that she and Smith have been separated since 2016. Over the course of five seasons of “Red Table Talk,” Pinkett Smith has built a brand on honesty and authenticity. The delayed announcement of the separation has been met with criticism.
According to Pinkett Smith, she and Will Smith “needed that time to dissolve the romanticisms and idealisms we were holding onto. I didn’t have enough sense of myself to show up for myself in my relationship.”
To any questions as to why she stays in her marriage, Pinkett Smith said of herself, “you benefitted when he was flying high, you’ll be by his side now.”
As the book tour finishes, Pinkett Smith said, she’s looking forward to more work behind the camera as a producer, writer and director.
“Life isn’t what I expected it would be,” she said. “I’m letting go of the fairy tale and getting into what’s real.”